So What If People Want To USE You: The Scale Of Relevance

I am having a difficult time, focusing on solving linear algebra questions today, in preparation for my final exam, so let’s discuss my prolonged scheduled blog post.

In this God-given life of mine, my greatest incentive to perform or do anything is the debilitating fear of a lack of relevance. I strive to excel in areas that matter to me, making myself competent in the areas of my life that I desire to be competent, to maintain my relevance to myself. Lack of relevance scares the shit out of me. 

I am an extremely confident person, however, I am very aware that confidence without competence is quite lamentable so I reward myself whenever I take steps to increase my relevance.

Connoisseuring Ndu'm is actually one of the testimonies towards the direction of increasing my relevance to myself.

And with that being said, let’s discuss “So what if people want to use you”

This topic can be perceived as an ambiguous concept. However, I see it in the bigness and an integral part of who I am when I consider how others might want to use me. It's empowering to be viewed as an asset. I find it very counterproductive when individuals lament about being "used," as though it is inherently negative. I would say, on the contrary, being sought after and valued is a testament to one's worth and relevance. Hallelujah!

The hindrance to our acceptance of the fact is a lack of honesty and rectitude, as of course, some people are just bad people!

Now let’s consider the intricate tapestry of human relationships.

We all rely on each other to navigate the complexities of life through our interactions and connections. All of our contributions are intertwined. I had previously discussed in a blog post, “Why it is important to be a fan” on the domino effect of our positive contributions to people’s lives. There’s an existential mutual reliance and reciprocity in every relationship. Everyone is being USED. This is evident in all relationships, work, familial and friendship dynamics. Being used exists everywhere.

In life, we all have roles to play, whether it is career-related, comfort, love, or support. When someone no longer fulfills their role, their value to us may diminish, just as our relevance to them may fade. This could happen to any relationship in our life, even with parents, siblings, or whomever. This interconnectedness is what makes any type of relationship work.

We create self-inflicted wounds when we dwell only on the negative idea that people always want to use us, for whatever we recognize as our valuable asset. The concept is inevitable - I am resisting the urge to use baby at the end of some of my sentences, so my blog can appear a little more serious, as I am actually discussing something serious-

If you are still confused about all this, think about your favorite celebrities and why you deem them important, or why they are always surrounded by people. The ascension to a famous person's rank always attracts more people. They grow in their level of relevance. This doesn't necessarily mean they are surrounded by opportunists; it could simply mean people want to be associated with success, essentially we all want to be with the winning team- and by winning, I mean this subjectively- 

Layi Wasabi once said

“Nobody wants to accompany who is not accomplished” and also- 

“The circle of friends you have determines the circumference of this earth for you” - discussing Layi’s level of intelligence is a different ball game, his delivery of intellectual studies as jokes is just entirely mind-blowing. 

I am not emphasizing being complacent about yourself and how much you allow people to take from you. I know we are currently in a survival experience of a skeptical society. Everyone is anxious about the authenticity of the relationships in their lives but we have to remember that we have very little control over people’s chosen actions towards us.

Perhaps to some extent, I might be biased in this discussion, possibly not considering the total effect of the trauma attached to some of the negative outcomes. Ultimately, it comes down to the security you have in yourself—knowing yourself well enough to recognize when a relationship becomes detrimental.

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash